Wow, did I really do that. (Don't read this at work, you might cry)

So I was just sitting around reading a comic, takin'er easy after a nine hour day and a catheter at the hospital yesterday(it still hurts to pee, but everything went well, don't even need a follow up appointment, probably cause I have a super awesome wang to begin with). Somewhere along the line the comic reminded me of a quick back and forth I was having with my family over the holiday. At one point in the conversation I responded with "No I'm peter, ya know, the one thats dying". It just struck me now how off putting it would be to hear that.

Now everyone needs to listen carefully right now, so pick up your frickin ears, I in no way indorse or condone Peter dying. In fact I have been on the record several times in the past as opposed to Peter dying. I am aware that I make jokes that have a little too much slap with their tickle, and even worse is that this awareness in no way transfers over to any kind of inner censor. As a result some stuff I say scares people.

I am very ill right now(when compared to other people, I'm totally okay right now compared to me). The things that my doctors want to do to make me well again could kill me in the process. This is likely not what people want to hear, but that is the truth. Some poor bastard is going to die, I will go to Edmonton, get split open like a deer in hunting season, and get a dead man's organs stuffed inside me. Is it bad that the travel to Edmonton is that part of that sentence that is the most off putting to me? Seriously, that drive is so boring I hate it. The number and stats make this whole thing look grim, but I have been getting grim news from people in white coats for eleven years now, I'm iron hardened against it. But I forget that everyone around me isn't.

My bad health should not be an elephant in the room that people are afraid to talk about. There maybe times when I am going to put myself first and say I don't want to talk about, other times I will have no problem doing it. If you need clarification on something, or more info that I didn't post up here, please don't be scared to ask/comment. Don't be worried about being a downer (I mean if it is all you talk about thats a downer move), or a pest. Chances are that someone else wants to know the same stuff.

This post was not meant to be this long or an emotional gut-check. Sorry if I made anyone cry, but just remember what butt-head says "Its okay to cry Beavis, crying is how you get the sad out of you".