For those of you staying current...

The blog has been left un-updated for more than a week because I do not really having anything to say. I felt a little low this week lung wise, but that could be contributed to the new mattress. Free tip: if you have bad joints and issues where your chest needs to expand easily, stay the hell away from plush top mattresses. After switching to an old firmer bed I slept better than I had in days. I will just have to use that old bed until the store drops off the new firmer mattress I ordered this weekend. The whole situation will be all sorted out in a week or so.
Most of my days are now being spent watching X-files, and trying to reorganize my room and office. After cleaning out the basement to set up the home gym, a lot of crap got tossed out. I decided that it might be a good idea do the same thing in my personal space. I usually do not collect massive amounts of stuff, and I do a major clean to get rid of the clutter every few years. So this was less of a cleaning and more of just putting everything in its proper place to make both the office and room work better. Text books and other reference stuff go in the office. Games and fiction books go in the bedroom. Old school stuff goes in the trash(second year anthropology notes aren't worth the space they take up, and all my papers are save on electronic backups). The goal being to get both rooms set up so that doing anything in there, be that cleaning/dressing/writing/etc, can be done as easily as possible with nothing getting in the way.
Why blather on about this(besides not having anything else to say)? I would not say I do not have a nostalgic side to myself, I very much do. However I am very careful not to get hung up longing for the good ol' days. I often see people buying old toys off of E-bay, watching cartoons that were on TV when they were younger, or planning a vacation to the same place they used to go as a child. That is fine, I will not be the grinch who stole fun and tell someone not to do this. I will however point that it is impossible to relive or buy back the past. Yes we all have pleasant memories, and they fill us with warm fuzzy feelings. What I hope people know is that you may not get the same fuzzy feeling now that you did then. Going out for ice cream on a Sunday nights when you were a kid are not the same as when you are an adult and have to flip the bill. The plot holes and repetition of a child's TV show may be more glaring under a more experienced eye.
This is something I have struggled with. I wanted very badly to return to the past where everything was simpler. No medication, no overt health issues, no monthly appointments. That will never happen, and I can except that now. Life is going to suck hard, and will continue to do so in many ways. I also know that I am not special in this way, it happens to everyone, its called reality. We edit our memories to only remember the sweet victories or the simple pleasures, and never seem to dwell on all the time we have lost standing in line behind some jerk-off at the bank or 7-11. Life may be rough for me, but it never rules out the chance to make more good memories. They will not be happy for all the same reasons my happy memories from the past are, but they will be happy. And in the years to come I will look back on the new ones with just as much longing as I did for a past with good health.Treasure the past, but live for the future. And I am sure I can remember it all without having boxes of stuff kicking around to remind me about it.
Wow, lots of stuff write for a day I didn't have anything to talk about.