Yelling at the TV is a KIND of therapy.

News flash, date line, lats week: I was sick. There was a spring flu, or cold, going around and I managed to catch it. I am feeling much better now and I am very close to being back to the norm for endurance and conditioning. The Lung Doctor didn't seem overly concerned when I talked to him about it as well, so this one can get tossed up on the win pile.

The trip to Edmonton was supposed to eliminate the need for a local lung doctor visit this month but they wanted me to come in anyway. Mixed feelings about that due to having to go into for an IVIG treatment that week as well, but I wanted to make sure that they were informed about my cold and check up on me, so it wasn't that horrible. While I was there I ran into someone I had meet at boot camp in Edmonton. Not a person from my group but the one before mine. She told me that someone from her group(a man with a a wife and young son) had gotten his lungs and was doing okay. She also said that another person from her group had died.

That was the first time I could put a name to a face of a person that didn't make it to transplant, and it was a bummer. Obviously some patients have better chances than others, either from not being a rare blood type or being in more stable health. But when you hear that someone died waiting it makes something, that until now was only a concept, real. Two ways to deal with that. One is to get scared, worry about death, and generally have a bad go of what could be your last days. The other is get productive. See that all things that were talked about in Edmonton go beyond words on a page, and do what you need to do. Do the exercises, look after yourself, prepare for the good and bad, and treasure what could be the time you have left.

I in no way intend to die(at least not this way, not enough like an action movie for my taste), but I don't let my decisions get bogged down with concepts like "that might led to social awkwardness" or "thats expensive" or"I can do that later". I consider what my transplant goal is in everything I do, but I don't let it impede me when it doesn't have to.